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Well I was walkin' along by Northwest Hoyt just the other day

(He'd passed Glisan, headed for Irving…)

When I caught sight of a woman who was just then passing my way.

(So cute it was downright disturbing!)

 

I tripped as I stared, and she laughed at me,

(If you play this off right you can win.)

And all I could do was to smile meekly,

(Who's the dork with the ten-inch grin?)

 

She said "Hey, do you want to go get a drink?"

(He can't believe his good fortune now…)

I didn't take long to answer, didn't even have to think.

(But a surprise is coming, and how!)

 

Well she was so sophisticated that I had to cry,

It's enough to give a heart fatigue,

With her Gucci bag and glasses from DKNY

She's definitely out of my league.

 

I met a girl in the Pearl, just as sweet as can be,

I met a girl in the Pearl, but she's too hip for me.

 

She said, "I know a place that you're sure to enjoy,"

(Little does she know about his bad taste.)

"It's name is SoLo—it's down on Lovejoy."

(On him, their fancy drinks are a big waste.)

 

We walked along together, it was a trial for my head.

(She's the smartest woman he's ever seen.)

I didn't understand half of the words that she said.

(What does "exegesis" even mean?)

 

We sat down in the bar.  I said, "How bout a Pabst beer?"

(The Gold Ribbon ain't on the menu…)

She said "I'm not sure that's the kind of thing that they serve in here."

(Perhaps this isn't his ideal venue.)

 

Well she was so urban chic that I had to say "Dang,"

It's enough to make a man feel strange,

With her Versace shoes and dress from Vera Wang,

She's a hundred miles out of my range.

 

I met a girl in the Pearl, just as sweet as can be,

I met a girl in the Pearl, but she's too hip for me.

 

The drinks were short, the embarrassment so long,

(She's an architect, and he's a nitwit.)

How can something seem so right but be so wrong?

(It's easy for an uncultured git!)

 

I guess I learned lesson from that classy girl.

(At least there's some reason to this rhyme.)

Unless the world is your oyster, don't look for love in the Pearl!

(Maybe he'll know better next time…)

 

I met a girl in the Pearl, just as sweet as can be,

I met a girl in the Pearl, but she's too hip for me.

 

I met a girl in the Pearl, just as sweet as can be,

I met a girl in the Pearl, but she's too hip for me.

 

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