Portland is funny about celebrities, because inasmuch as we ever think about them, we sort of go nuts with envy about them.  I remember an Oregonian article during the presidential primaries that (only half-jokingly) said one of the demands Oregon would make of a new president would be to have at least one or two true celebrities living here.  So this week’s song, “In My Neighborhood,” plays on the Portland celebrity theme and imagines what happens when some of Portland’s celebrities -- one fictional and two real -- move into the neighborhood.  Have fun with this one.  And if you spot one of our few celebrities, say hello -- we’re all Portlanders here!

Lyrics:

I was driving past Grant Park just the other day,

When I saw a little girl passing by my way.

I had to do a double take

To make there hadn’t been a mistake,

But on second glance that red hair gave her away.

Ramona Quimby moved into my neighborhood.

You may not believe me, but you really should.

I don’t want it to be misunderstood,

What it means for you

When spunky little Miss Q

Moves into your neighborhood.

I was taking the dog out, we were on the go,

Just sort of lost in my own private Idaho,

When I looked up and saw a guy

Waving as he ambled by.

I couldn’t believe it, ‘cause wow, I didn’t know…

Gus Van Sant lives just around the block.

I saw him going out for a walk.

I know he’ll make the neighbors talk --

It can give you a chill

When someone hunting for goodwill

Lives so close: just around the block.

Stepping out of a tavern late on a Friday night,

I saw a man just passing out of sight.

This was over in Goose Hollow,

I simply had to follow

To make sure that I’d really seen him right:

Bud Clark lives right around the way.

I stopped to ask him what he’d say

About what’s happening today.

But he just stroked his beard,

Smiled and said “Keep Portland weird,”

And returned to his home right around the way.