So I’m cheating just a little bit this week, not creating a new song but refurbishing an old one (since I’m currently on vacation).  “My Name Is MAX” is the second song on Portland: The Album, and it’s making a reappearance this week in an updated version.

Back in March, my family and I rode the entire length of the MAX Blue Line, from Gresham to Hillsboro, because my children absolutely love riding on MAX.  Once we got over to the west side, I realized there were a couple of stops on the west side that I had mispronounced in “My Name Is MAX” -- for instance, Elmonica (which is supposed to be like el+Monica, the woman’s name) became el-mo-NI-ca (rhyming with “formica”) in the original song.  So I wondered, back on that long MAX ride, if I should put out a corrected version.  That’s what I’m finally doing this week, although there are some other ways in which this song is remixed (or “ReMAXed”) as well: I rerecorded the bass line, which I’d never been really happy with, and added a fifth above the bass for a few verses as well.  I also made the “Oooh, Maxy Max!” line a little more harmonically complex, and changed a couple of other things.  So this week’s song is not exactly new, but at least revitalized: here is “My Name Is MAX (ReMAXed Version).”

Lyrics:

Now Portland, Portland, won't you listen up?

I got a smooth rhyme, please don't interrupt.

You might not know me as a guy with a beat,

You may just think of me as relief for your feet.

At first it was hard to fund me, it was like you didn't care.

But now I take you every place, from here to there.

From the city to the Burbs or the airport to the mall,

Growin' bigger every day, and what am I called?

Chorus:

My name is MAX, the greatest from the East to the West,

My name is MAX, oh yeah you'll be really impressed.

My name is MAX, hey, yo, what's that you say?

My name is MAX, and I'm doin' it the light rail way.

Ooh, maxy MAX!

Now when you hear me comin' won't you please step aside?

Get your ticket at the station, and then come for a ride.

We'll be flying along, and I'll be ringin' my bell,

The ride will be smooth, and comfortable as well.

If it's summertime don't worry, I got A/C inside.

If it's raining then there's heat, and it's always dry.

Like the postal service neither rain, sleet nor snow,

Can keep me from getting you where you need to go.

Now you may wonder how did I get to be

The coolest cat in town, the light rail MC?

I was born in 1978,

Six billion dollars later boy am I first-rate.

I got bigger tracks than a Tyrannosaurus Rex.

You're ridin' in style, when you ride M-A-X.

So if you need to find me then just look around,

You can't miss me if you're looking anywhere in Stumptown.

And for those of you too lazy to get up from your floor.

You can still find me: just look at trimet.org!

Chorus

When you're looking for a ride, lookin' for transportation,

Don't go for your car, just pick a station.

I got Hatfield and Hillsboro, Tuality and Washington,

Fair Complex and Hawthorne, Orenco and Quatama,

Willow Creek, Elmonica, Merlo, too,

Beaverton Creek and Millikan Way, Beaverton 1 and 2,

Sunset and Washington Park, Goose Hollow and Kings Hill,

We stop at PGE Park, then put away your bills!

(Now entering the fareless square!)

The Library, Galleria, Pioneer Square south and north,

The mall both sides, and Morrison, and Yamhill, then we go forth

To Oak-Skidmore-Chinatown, Rose Quarter-Convention Center,

7th Avenue and the final fareless is Lloyd Center!

(Now you're payin' again!)

Now you got a choice of colors: red yellow and blue,

I'll take you three different places, so now let's review.

The Yellow goes Albina, and then Overlook Park,

Then Prescott-Killingsworth-Portland and next Lombard.

There's Kenton and Delta Park and last but not least you enter

The end of the Yellow Line at the Expo Center.

Blue and Red will both take you to Hollywood today,

Then 60th, 82nd, and they split at Gateway.

The Red goes off to Parkrose, the Cascades and Mt. Hood Ave.,

And finally to the airport, where some fun is what you'll have.

The Blue line continues east to a series of stations,

They're all named by numbers, here are their locations:

102nd, 122nd, 148th,

162nd, 72nd, 181st and 88th,

And then Ruby Junction and Gresham City Hall,

And finally Gresham Central and Cleveland, and that's all.

Chorus

Now you can take your subway, you can have your TGV,

There's only one way to ride, and that's inside me.

So no matter what they say, no matter who objects,

We got the best system here in PDX.

And that's me, MAX, the greatest guy in town,

Don't worry Portland people for I'll never let you down.

'Cause the never fail on the trail, through a gale or some hail,

On the nail, never stale, light rail prevails—my name is MAX!