So, how to begin to explain this one?  I guess it all started back on week three of the One Year of Portland Songs Blog, when I wrote the song “A Quiet Night in Portland.”  My spouse Jennifer said, “That’s a nice song, but why are you always writing songs from the perspective of a single person about finding love?  Why not write a song about the nice family and house and life you actually have?”  I saw Jennifer’s point, and though I’ve now written such a song, I can’t imagine this is what she had in mind!  This week’s song, “Parkrose Paradise” (a far cry from Coolio’s “Gangsta’s Paradise”), pokes fun at and plays on every stereotype that many Portlanders have of east Portland.  And I’ll admit, when we moved back to Portland in January into our house which is deep in Parkrose (some might say even *east* of Parkrose, but we’re still technically Portland, not Gresham), I had most of these same prejudices.  So “Parkrose Paradise” is a fun little romp with a country-western style, making the case through parody for why the rest of Portland (i.e. everyone south of Burnside and west of 82nd or 57th) should be a little kinder in their thoughts about we in the “East Metro” part of town.

Two final notes about the music itself: first off, some of the tune to this song is very indebted to John Denver’s “Thank God I’m a Country Boy,” so much so that upon hearing this song, my four-year-old son said, “Daddy, this reminds me of John Denver and Country Boy.”  So, um, yeah.  See the disclaimer two weeks ago about finite musical ideas!  Second, I have been battling sickness--and particularly sore throat--this past week.  Hopefully it doesn’t come out too much in this song, though I can tell you that after recording this afternoon my throat is really very sore now.  But now I have a few days off!

Lyrics:

Well, some people think Portland’s five miles wide:

57th on the East to the Zoo on the west side.

But hey, look here, I don’t live in that strip,

So come along, I’ll take you on a trip…

I got me a wife and I got two kids,

Chickens out back but we’re still on the grid.

We got WinCo and our Taco Bell’s nice--

Come on over to my Parkrose Paradise!

On Saturday evenings, when there ain’t much new,

I call up some friends and say, “What you wanna do?”

We get together and we take a drive,

Cruisin’ down our favorite highway, the 205.

The rest of y’all may think you’re well bred,

But get that notion out of your head,

Just listen to me, take my advice:

Nothin’ beats my Parkrose Paradise.

Well take your fancy Pearl District,

I’ll not be one to contradict.

Take your gleaming downtown lights,

I’ll keep my tavern, which treats me right.

Take your hippie Hawthorne Street,

But could you wash those stinky bare feet?

Take your earthy TriMet bus,

I’ll be laughin’ all the way to Clackamas!

Though east of Gateway is plenty pretty,

Ever’ now and then we go into the city,

Lookin’ for some culture, we head on down,

Straight to a show in the middle of downtown.

But that weird stuff makes my throat get stuck,

There’s not even a place to park my truck.

Please take me back, no matter the price.

How could I leave my Parkrose Paradise?

You non-Parkrosers are missin’ out,

I can tell you that true, without a doubt.

What’s so great about being close to a river?

We got a Pizza Hut, and it even delivers.

I got me a wife and I got two kids,

Chickens out back but we’re still on the grid,

We got no sidewalks but our 7/11’s nice--

Come on over to my Parkrose Paradise!

So take your arts and gala balls,

I’m happy here with my strip malls.

Take your uppity restaurants too,

You can find me watchin’ Scooby Doo.

Take your rich elite West Hills,

Gimme a neighborhood with zero frills.

Take your Portland history,

I love houses built in 1950!

So now you know where I am from,

If you want a good time, then why doncha come

Where the air is clear and the folks is nice--

How I love my Parkrose Paradise!