Back to Portland: The Album

I looked in The Oregonian,

And then I looked online.

Trying to find a place to live,

Some place I could call mine.

 

And then I saw the prices, I couldn't believe my eyes,

My chest began to tighten, my blood pressure to rise.

 

It was a real estate coronary!

Real estate coronary!

 

I called my friendly realtor,

To ask what he had for me.

He said, "Well, what's your price range?"

Maybe something in Polk County…

 

My left arm held the phone, the pain began to swell,

It traveled past my elbow, and then I just had to yell.

 

It was a real estate coronary!

Real estate coronary!

 

I just want to live in Portland,

Is that too much too ask?

I'll live in deep Southeast if I have to…

I hear they're even getting MAX.

 

Real estate coronary!

Real estate coronary!

 

Maybe someone will accept my offer,

If I make a high enough bid.

I'll mortgage myself forever,

And I'll throw in my first kid.

 

When the median price hit $297K,

My heart made up a new plan: it's the hospital to stay!

 

Real estate coronary!

Real estate coronary!

 

Real estate coronary!

Real estate coronary!

 

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